If I Only Knew...

Having been fifteen for a little over six months, I have been faced with many changes and challenges.  Unfortunately, these circumstances which I was presented with came with no instructions or guidance; mistakes were guaranteed to be made.  If only certain pieces of information would have been revealed in the beginning, my life would have been made much simpler.

• Value driving advice and take the criticism that you are given positively; getting frustrated and mouthing off only causes a disagreement… one that I can never win.

• Have patience with my youngest sister.  When I am assailed with what seems like fifty million questions just as I am getting home, I need to realize that she only does it because she loves me, and that one day she is going to be all grown up and I will no longer have this time with her.

• Waiting until the last minute to do things is never a good idea.  Whether there is school work to be done, or you are expected to have your room clean, regardless of what the task at hand might happen to be, just do it.

• Parents are much more observant than one may think; when you think that they don’t notice, trust me, they do.  I have tried to text at the dinner table, but evidently discreetness is not my specialty; before the first message has even been sent, I have been found out.

• Don’t take thirty minute showers and think that it will be overlooked.  In my house, there are five people, and using all of the hot water does not make for a happy night.

• Don’t forget to put back anything that has been borrowed, and never, under any circumstances, ever give it back empty.  Using my mommy’s makeup is all fine until the morning that she needs it, can’t find it, and comes to me, knowing that I have taken it.  When she sees a nearly empty compact, well, let’s just say that the rest of the morning is downhill from there.

• Lastly, my final piece of advice: when it is time to go, it is best to just go as you are.  Even though I think that I need more time to get ready, it is better to just go with the flow and not rock the boat.  Trust me, it is much better to have a bad hair day that to have a bad mommy day.

Blogging… The Thing I Hate the Most.

As you can clearly see by the title of this post, I hate blogging.  Care to know why?  Allow me to begin.

There are several reasons as to why I hate writing blogs; the number one reason, though, is probably because of the simple fact that I just absolutely hate writing.  Now, if I were in any way at all a good writer, maybe I wouldn't mind it so much… but I am far from that.  For me, writing comes as a huge struggle.  I literally spend up to an hour just trying to think of a topic, or if I am given a specific one, then that hour is spent trying to figure out what to write about this subject.  Writing is definitely not my forte.

The previous paragraph was more so concerning writing in general, so this one will be focused more specifically on blogging.  Having to write blogs, in my opinion, is a complete waste of my time.  There are so many other, more important things that I could do within the time frame that it takes me to actually finish writing a blog.  Also, I don’t exactly see the importance of writing them… I don’t understand why I have to put aside time to write them pretty much every week.  I know that the reason behind them is probably a very good one, I don’t doubt that… I’m just not able to see it yet.

Blogging is stressful.  I honestly don’t see how some people enjoy it so much… some to the extent that they will take it on as a career.  But hey, all the more power to them.  While blogging could cause people like this to rise to the top, for me… blogging will be my downfall.

Moving

I’m moving.  Finally, after four long years of trying, our house has sold.  In all honesty, we never thought that this day would come.  I mean, after four years how could we?

At first, we were ecstatic; we could not believe that this was actually happening to us!  However, that initial excitement has dramatically decreased… and our house sold just last week.

Everything is happening way too fast.  As I already said, our house only sold last week, but we are expected to be out of our house and into a new one in less than a month.  We are having trouble with this… we have found practically no houses that are close by to fit our desired qualities.  We want a house that is actually big enough for all five of us, we want to stay in Person County, we don’t want to live in a subdivision again, and most of all, we want land… we want a lot of land.

Considering our time limit and the lack of preferred properties, my parents are thinking that they will just end up buying a plot of land and building the house that they want on it.

Even though it took four long years for us to get to this point…four years full of disappointing outcomes in regards to our house selling, now that it has sold, the wait was well worth it.  Despite the fact that moving has proven itself to be a hard and stressful task, we cannot wait for the day that we will finally be in our new house.  We are so ready.    

"Hero" -- Skillet

This song, in my opinion, could have two meanings… one understanding could be that it is speaking of Christ, while the other could be seen as one’s own inner strength.  I feel like an individual’s religious views could determine the way in which he/she interprets this meaning.

If you look at this song in the sense that it is referring to Christ, then I feel like the artist is trying to show how fed up we can come to be with the world that we live in; how we can become so broken that we finally realize that we need something greater than ourselves to live.  We recognize that we need a hero to save us… from ourselves, and everything else that is around us.  We see that we need Christ to be our strength in life… that we need to give in to the power of God and allow Him to take us and become our hero.

Now, looking at this song from a non-religious perspective, I think that the artist is trying to show that common, everyday people can do amazing things.  I feel like this song is saying that when times get tough, and when things in this world become too great to handle, we want to wait on a hero to come and save us.  However, when this “hero” is needed the most, we can rise to the occasion and our own inner strength will prevail.  It will show itself when the time is right.  This interpretation of this song is ultimately saying that anyone, absolutely anyone, can be a hero.  

The Chains That Bind Us

When first looking at this picture, I honestly saw no meaning.  In my eyes, it looked like nothing more than a person being held in chains, with some random dude lying on a hammock… but then I saw the smoke.  This revelation sparked an idea; one that I couldn't shake.  Seeing that thin wisp of smoke set in my head the thought of drugs. 

I now see it as this: that once seemingly pointless man is now setting the foundation for the entire picture.  He is an addict, unable to escape the binds of his habit.  The hands held within chains, I feel, represent this thought perfectly. 

In my opinion, the artist of this picture is trying to convey the message that we, being people, can be prisoners to our own addictions…our desires.  We can be held captive by ourselves.

"I Cry" -- Tupac Shakur

Sometimes when I'm alone 

I Cry, 

Cause I am on my own. 

The tears I cry are bitter and warm. 

They flow with life but take no form 

I Cry because my heart is torn. 

I find it difficult to carry on. 

If I had an ear to confide in, 

I would cry among my treasured friend, 

But who do you know that stops that long, 

To help another carry on. 

The world moves fast and it would rather pass by. 

Then to stop and see what makes one cry, 

So painful and sad. 

And sometimes... 

I Cry 

And no one cares about why.

Ultimately, I feel like this poem is about loneliness.  I think that Shakur is trying to convey how alone he is in the world and that if he only had a friend to confide in and be there for him, then no longer would he be lonely.  On a deeper level, I feel like the author is trying to show that not everyone in the world is going to be there for you... some people will pass you by without looking back for even a second.  The world moves too fast and people are too wrapped up in themselves to take the time to place interest in the lives of others.  Lines twelve and thirteen, "The world moves fast and it would rather pass by. Then to stop and see what makes one cry," embody this perfectly.

This poem is true to life... it tells a story that everyone can relate to.  It is inspirational.

Top Ten...

Hanson.

Ever since their music was introduced to me, Hanson has been my favorite band.  Their music, as well as their sound, is unique, and in my opinion, incredible.  Choosing my top ten songs by them was no easy task; however, I finally settled on these:

10. "Mmmbop"

I had to put this song on my list.  "Mmmbop" is the first song that I ever heard from Hanson, and it is really what got me hooked.  This is a truly feel-good song; one that makes you happy just from hearing it, even if you don't completely understand it.  This is the song that will require extreme efforts to get out of your head.

9. "If Only"

This is a song that pretty much every one can relate with.  It is about liking someone, but not knowing what to do about it or either being too scared to do anything for the fear of messing up.  This song is about wishing that you had the guts to do something about your feelings.
"If only I had the guts to feel this way."

8. "Lost Without Each Other" 

As you can probably tell from the title, this is ultimately a break-up song.  The lyrics are sad, as most break-up songs are; however, unlike most other songs of this type, Hanson manages to convey the sadness felt by parting ways without making it in any way sappy.  This song is upbeat, and though it contradicts the sadness, somewhat positive.  This is a break-up song that will not cause unhappiness in its listeners.

7. "Go"

This is a sad, yet beautiful song; every time I hear it, my heart just gets ripped out of my chest.  In my opinion, this song is about a break-up that wasn't meant to happen; the line, "But i don't wanna wash my hands clean", symbolizes this perfectly.  It is saying that though this couple is over, they don't want to be done with the other.

6.  "Underneath"

To me, this song is about being in a place where no one understands what you are going through.
"Take a look around and tell me what you see... you'll find me underneath."  I feel like this is the line that really sums up what this song is about.  In my opinion, it is saying that if you could just take the time to delve a little deeper, to what is beyond the surface, then you will reach a greater level of understanding.

5.  "Thinking 'Bout Somethin'"

I think that this is a revenge song.  I feel like it is about a man who has found out that his girlfriend is cheating on him, and in response to this, he decides that she is no longer worth his time.
"I've been thinking 'bout somethin' other than you."

4. "Weird"

This song, I feel, is about trying to find your individuality, but in the process of doing this you become an outcast because you are different.
"When you live in a cookie-cutter world, being different is a sin"

3. "The Walk"

In my opinion, this is a song about vulnerability.  I feel like Hanson was trying to say that we need to put ourselves out there, out of our comfort zone, and not let our fears get in our way as we take "the walk" on "the tightrope" that is our life.

2. "Strong Enough to Break"

This song is meant to show the struggle that the Hanson brothers faced as they were trying to break away from their record label; as they tried to find acceptance within the music world.  This song is so personal to this band.  It is filled with so much passion... so much emotion.  The pain they felt is clearly translated in the lines of "Strong Enough to Break"; when listening to this song, it is as if I have experienced it too.

1. "Use Me Up"

"Use Me Up" is an absolutely beautiful song.  It is about... emptiness.  This song says that even if you are feeling nothing but pain and misery, anything is better than being numb to the world. 

"Nothing could be worse than numb... Please, use me up"